If you thought that you’re over the hump, just because the divorce is over, then you’re mistaken. Child custody is just as hard, if not harder, for parents to go through. This is the signal that your family dynamic won’t ever be the same. And you do need help from a skilled child custody lawyer to win the case. So, here are some things you should and shouldn’t do.
Don’t Lie – To Anyone
This is probably the most important thing you can take away from this entire guide and that is not to mislead anyone. You don’t want to lie to anyone. Not to your child, not to your lawyer, and definitely not in front of the court. You might think that you have a chance of getting out, but if you take a step back and think about it, you will only fool yourself and that is it.
Lying to the court or your lawyer is like digging your own grave, because these people are experienced in pinpointing a lie from 10 miles away, so there is literally no point in trying to run your mouth.
On the other hand, lying to your child will only lead to problems of trust and once that trust is gone, you can’t do anything to bring it back and you’ll automatically be the bad person in everyone’s eyes. So, if you want to get out unscathed, then you always want to side with the truth.
Do Focus On Your Child
Child custody cases can turn sour, especially when you’re focusing on everything but your child. These cases should be built keeping the best interests of your kids in mind. If you can’t do that, then what is the point of being called a parent?
So, whatever you do, whichever step you take, think about how it would affect your child, either in a good or bad way. This will make decision-making a whole lot easier for you and you’ll be satisfied that your child is well taken care of.
Don’t Let Emotions Drive You
The worst thing you can do to drive the child custody case into a ditch is by letting your unstable and volatile emotions take the driving seat. Look, it’s really common to have pent-up aggression and feelings of resentment towards your ex-spouse, but that is something that shouldn’t be dealt with, with emotions at the forefront.
It may temporarily ease your mind after spewing out every name in the book and letting your emotions take over, but it does more damage than you could ever expect. So, don’t do that. Be calm and composed, because this is your child’s life you’re concerned with and there is nothing above it.
Do Consult A Professional
Getting a good family attorney Fairfax VA will make things so much easier for you. This is something that a lot of parents fail to do, but you don’t want to repeat the same mistake. You want to research and find the best child custody attorney out there.
You want someone who is experienced in all of the cases – from the simplest to the most complex ones. This will ensure that the case is in good hands and they will try everything to help you and your kid out without too many sacrifices.
Don’t Get Lost In Fool’s Paradise
Expectations can really ruin things and if you’re someone who’s expecting a lot from a child custody case, then you’ll only end up being disappointed. Child custody cases are really difficult to navigate and you don’t really know how or where things are going to go until the very end.
So, holding onto expectations that are highly unrealistic will not do anything for you. They will only hurt and disappoint you even more when things don’t turn out your way. This is something that even lawyers advise their clients not to do and that is to expect the best. They just prepare you for every kind of scenario.
Do Keep Finances In Check
Obviously, this is a child that you’re talking about, and if you want to get full custody of your child, then you need to ensure that you have enough finances to convince the court in your favor.
You have to take care of educational expenses, medical expenses, recreational expenses, and other things, so if you’re not doing things right, then you’ll end up crashing down and that is not what you want. Also, child custody battles themselves can be expensive too, so you definitely don’t want to skip this part.
Don’t Forget To Communicate
Even though you might not want to, it is best for your kid. Whatever happened that led to the dissolution of the marriage is now behind you. You got divorced and that is it. But now, you have to focus on ensuring that your child’s life is as undisturbed as possible.
This is why you have to bite your tongue a lot of the time and have to sit with probably the last person on Earth you want to sit with, and talk things out. Remember the priorities when you’re having a conversation. Your child holds prime importance and that is the bottom line.
Do The Right Thing
Sometimes, doing the right thing might not seem the best, but again, if you ever feel that way, then take a step back and think of how this decision will affect your child. If it is good for them, then you don’t want to think twice, even if it means that you have to lose sole custody.
The courts are there for the well-being of the child. They don’t let emotions make the decisions for them. They need someone who can take care of the child to their full capacity and that is exactly what the child needs at that time.
Don’t Leave Co-Parenting Out Of The Lot
If the option of co-parenting is on the table, then you want to take it. See, divorces change everything and even if the children are young, they will still have this feeling in the back of their tiny minds that their family is incomplete.
If you can, try to ease the child into this change as much as possible. Any drastic changes can be really detrimental to the mental and emotional well-being of the child and you don’t want that. So, if you guys can make co-parenting work, then go for it, because it is the best option for your kiddo.
Do Consider Therapy
If things are too heavy and you can’t find an outlet to express how you feel and what you’re going through, then you seriously need to consider counseling or therapy. This will really put things into perspective for you and you will have someone professional to talk your feelings out to and not channel them into something that you will regret later on.
So, whether you or your child needs it, you need to consider counseling. It’ll be beneficial for you in the long run.
Conclusion
Child custody cases can go either way, but their course will be determined if you follow these tips, hire an experienced child custody attorney Fairfax VA, and don’t give in to your emotions all the time.